Cheesy Pick Up Lines
by afrozenheart412
Summary: These are the cheesy pick up lines that the guys and gals of CSI NY use to pick up their significant others.  Warning, they won't be pretty; most likely they will be lame or down right crude.  A present for Brinchen86, Happy Birthday My Friend!  Enjoy!
1. Danny & Lindsay

Happy Birthday, Brina! I hope you enjoy this! *hugs*

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI NY. Wish that I did, but at least we get to have fun with this. :)

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"_**If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?**_"

Lindsay smiles at Danny's teasing, fighting to keep the blush from rising any further on her cheeks. Like he would ever be interested in her, not the lab's Lothario. Her eyes re-focused on the paperwork in front of her, continues to sign her name on the DD5s. "You know what, Messer? My mom always told me that if a man ever laid a line like that on me, I would wake up with fleas if I slept with him."

"Ouch! Ouch there, Montana," Danny winces painfully as he holds his hands over his heart, leaning back in his office chair. "That was a direct shot!"

Her grin deepens at Danny's dramatics, working steadily along to finish up before quitting for the day. "Done, whew! I do, however, give you points for knowing a country song. Danny Messer, a country music lover. Who would've guessed?"

"I wouldn't go that far, Montana!" He tells her, outraged that she would think he likes country music. He was rock 'n roll all the way, baby!

"Yeah, yeah. Deny it all you want, I know the truth," she taunts. Standing up and getting ready to hand in her files to Mac, she reaches into her desk drawer to a bag holding some loose candy. Tossing him an M&M she goads him, "Here boy, catch!"

Leaning forward, he opens his mouth to catch the green piece. "Ah, something sweet from something sweet."

Winking at her, he grins letting the candy melt on his tongue enjoying her reaction to his flirting.

Rolling her eyes at that, "You don't ever stop, do you?"

"Not if I can help it," he smirks, sitting up and getting down to his own paperwork. Facing his monitor pretending to work, he adds, "We also wouldn't be doing much sleeping either."

She groans and leaves the room with his laughter floating out after her.

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I know this is super short but there will be more with each couple, because we all know there are no shortages of these lines, LOL. Thank you for taking the time to read!


	2. Don & Jess

Thank you to everyone who loved this idea, I wasn't sure about starting this and I'm sorry it has taken me so long in updating but here is another chapter! Thank you Koko, for your review! And thank you to wolfeylady for your review on the second chapter of It's Not You, Don...It's Me. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own. I wish I did, but I don't. :)

Dedication: This is for BlueEyedAuthor, because of her inspired review. I knew what I wanted to do with this but I had a hard time in thinking how to start it until I read her review, so thank you my friend! And with us being the same sign as Eddie Cahill...we still can't believe he laid out that line in Sex, Lies, And Silicone. Sheesh man, LOL!

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"_**Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.**_"

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"...then he asked her. Hey girl, what's your sign?" Danny cracks up with hysterical laughter in the noisy bar; resting his head on the table as he continues to laugh. In his fit, he pounds his hand on the surface with tears running down his face, oblivious to the reactions around the table. Don glaring at him with a face so red that it would give a tomato a run for its money, Angell looking at him in disgust, Lindsay pinching the bridge of her nose as if to stop an oncoming headache, and Stella torn between amusement and disgust at Danny's behavior.

"Aiden and I thought we're going to wet ourselves laughing after she just looked at him, and left with her drink to go laugh about it with her friends," Danny says wiping the tears from his face, taking a deep gulp from his beer bottle. "Ah, it was beautiful in its lameness."

With a snort of disgust Don abruptly gets up from the table, pushing past the crowd to get to the bar. Jess looking after him with concern, pushes her chair back and stands up, "Stella, do you need another drink?"

"Nah, I'm good," Stella responds holding up her martini glass, watching the patrons coming and going about their business.

"Lindsay, do you want another Shirley Temple?" Jess asks, looking at the pregnant woman. Lindsay, interrupted from silently glaring at Danny, looks up as her name is called.

She smiles at Jess, rubbing her belly feeling the baby move around. "I would appreciate it. Thank you, Jess!"

"Danny, Shirley Temple?"

"I'm drinking a beer, Angell." Danny answers confused, holding the bottle up.

"Two Shirley Temples it is then," Jess cheekily answers, 'accidentally' kicking the back leg of his chair sending him into the table spilling the beer on his green shirt. Ignoring the 'hey' and laughter of the women, Jess smoothly pushes her way past the crowd of cops and civilian personnel at Sullivan's, to make her way to where Don is standing at the bar nursing a beer.

"You shouldn't let him bother you like that. He only does it because he enjoys how it pisses you off," Jess tells Don after placing the order with the bartender.

"I know, I can't help it if I don't have game," Don bitterly replies putting the beer down.

"You have game, Don," she tells him. "It's just really lame. Not that I don't like it," she pacifies him, at the face he made with her calling him lame. "You don't know how much I love to have a line laid on me that my dad used to get my mom's attention."

"Yours too?" He smirks into Jess's flashing black eyes. Putting on the innocent face that he used on the nuns at his old Catholic high school, "I could have busted out how it hurt when you fell from heav-"

"If you want to give your parents a Donald Aloysius Flack the Third, you'll stop right now," Jess threatens, enjoying how his face winces at the use of his full name. "You didn't have to sink so low to mock me at my own game. You've no idea how many lines that I've had to field over the years. Ugh, especially at the academy. God, they never let up on me!"

Shaking with silent laughter at Jess's remarks he watches Jimmy, the bartender, fix their drinks. Thinking about other things they have in common...particularly her favorite drink that they enjoy so much, Don helps her gather the order. Leaning over to whisper in her ear, "After this round, would you like to leave and grab an Irish coffee at my place?"

"Do you have the stuff to make it?" Jess smiles, her body warming to the thought of going back to his place.

"Nope," Don replies his face growing intense; his blue eyes twinkling.

"Perfect," she whispers thinking of the night ahead. Walking back with Don to the table, a beer and Temple in clutched in one hand, she stops and turns toward him sliding her free hand deep inside his front left pocket.

"Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I could see myself in your pants," she smirks at his frozen yet happy expression, giving him a little squeeze. "That's how it's done."

"He has more than a mirror in his pocket," Danny observes, smirking at his best friend before taking the last draw from his beer. "Ow!"

"Thank you, Stella," Lindsay says looking on with love at her husband. Danny rubbing the side of his head shoots a disgruntled look at their boss.

"No problem," Stella replies, smiling as she takes a sip from her martini glass, looking like the cat that got the cream.

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I worried about being too rough on Danny, but after last night's episode...I don't think I was rough enough, LOL. Thank you for reading, I hope you had a good laugh! :)


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